When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse...Out of the corner of my eye.....

ONE word is too often profaned
For me to profane it,
One feeling too falsely disdain'd
For thee to disdain it.

- P.B. Shelly

Eons ago, there was a time when Backstreet Boys posters adorned my walls , Ricky Martin was Odepius reincarnated and Barbie Girl a rapturous delight.....I remember a dusty vacation afternoon and the usual basket-ball sessions at Loyola...And this vivid image of a hunk strumming up a tune on this fabulous sleek Black guitar...the way it shimmered in the hot air...the glint of the polished metal....the fingers arcing n bending...and these Hot Loyola girls simpering n smiling around...enough to make a nerdy 14 year old Mirzapur kid wet his pants.....Though it didnt change my musical taste at all...in fact it worsened ...now encompassed J-Lo, Stephen Gately & likes....But the image lingered......

Fast forward to the my first year in college....The doors of Hell were unleashed....tired & scared I was lost...& on a particularly hot & very difficult afternoon, I bundled on my bed in tears ...and in sheer moment of serendipity....clicked on a few songs my friend preferred.....lying in the heat and staring at the puddle made by my tears...the walls broke...the sonic assault ,the mesmerizing intro chords of Smells like Teen spirit , Cobain's raw unmodulated voice & the ordered chaos resonated....with what i dunno...something very deep...something I thought existed...but never cared to search for it...but a veil lifted....and as a cherry on the cake burst forth....Are you Unforgiven too ....the very words... renewed a soul already stumbling at the start of the only race he’s gonna run...the race of life itself....Like a horde of Mongols through a Chinese village...The Black Album hacked, pillaged & incarcerated every pre-conceived emotion & notion I had...The world wasn't the same anymore.....

The next few months were mesmerizing ...exploring, plodding, searching with a wide-eyed wonder...like Columbus or Mallegan out to seek the new world...but still something was missing...something to push me over the edge into rock's cradling arms...A feeling which was realized by Ranjit, the lead singer of the band Dry State....spell bound & entranced the kid watched...in an awe unsurpassed...unbridled adrenaline rush coupled with the passive smoke which covered everything in a grey haze...the soul danced....The image that lingered for years burst forth & Satan had a new disciple....That night I sold my soul to Rock n Roll....

I can imagine many of us might have had similar experiences...initiations & baptisms by fire or an elder brother sibling/friend...Rock has always been the sole n lone voice of dissatisfaction n unease....When Robert Johnson & Skip James started out with their rebel tones...little did they know about the great chain of events they set into action....Bo Diddley, Chuck Berry, Little Richard, Bill Haley and Elvis Presley gave a voice to a generation of people bored of Sinatra & likes...and bred the bigger non conformists in turn...The legendary Bob Dylan, The Doors, The Who, Led Zeppelin...spurred on by a near rabid following of the masses...the alternate genre became the main-stream genre.....for a while.....Before the fall began....like all good things that begin true...The curtain began to drop albeit slowly but steadily....

Rock has always have had 2 things working for it...the in-your-face no apologies kind of lyrics....and skilled chaos....add to that amesmeric shaman of a singer...& the band would have controlled an army mid-way into battle....watch Jim Morrison or Robert Plant once...& u will know what I mean...But rock also stood for something more...something very deep...it gave an outlet for people to exorcise their inner demons...to purge their souls...to seek redemption...in rock it was ok if u were not perfect goody-2-shoes or had had seen life the rough way...Rock never offered an escape...it addressed the very issues mainstream music shied away from....issues that were buried under but remained as a strong under-current...It never had structured verses...neither a meter to boot...verses ranged from the poetry of The Doors...the almost conversational ramblings of Bob Dylan & Bruce Springsteen...The sexy groovy tones of the Rolling Stones...The 'interpret as u fell like' lyrics of Pink Floyd...the cathartic words of Nirvana....The exorcising stanzas of Metallica....MAGIC....

But as time passed...the dream began to shatter...the money rolled in...the stars gave in to the very things Karl Marx had warned us about...they gave up their roots...and with that the only connection they shared with people out there....lyrics got lamer...the shows got bigger...but the soul was having a cuppa tea elsewhere....As artists increased...the skill was judged by how fast one could play rather than how varied they were...Thus sprang bands by the dozen which pumped adrenaline just the same...but in their rush to be the loudest & the fastest...gave up the heart of rock...the lyrics themselves....The crowds got wilder, nastier & narrower in scope...the music which once protested about how a stray bullet killed his love's unborn...has now began to extol the pleasure in ripping out the unborn from the womb itself...perversity & morbidity are worshipped...And the fact that these guys more skilled and adept at instruments hurt more....The ploy to be the grossest and ultra-violent has no doubt worked up frenzy...but alienated people just the same....how often can one relate to lyrics about raping a virgin & then tearing her flesh to taste it? or plunging knives in one's privates to make them scream? not everyday i guess...but somehow the crowds still are there...worshipping & raving as yesterday...And on the other hand the processed rock fiends belt out lame lyrical compositions at a rate which would make even Bappi Lahiri smile....The style is borrowed from the old masters...the lyrics are something straight out of a computer program mixing & matching key-words...stage shows are pre arranged...& stars take dancing lessons & use a lyrics arranger...pearly white plastic smiles...the exorbitant moolah permeating around...the dip-shits who lounge around spouting processed talk just cause to be a rocker is the 'in-thing' to be for those who want to be ‘kewl’ n ‘alternate’ at the same time....The artists of today try too hard to be what they are not...thereby becoming the same pseudo-s 'rock' started out against...The shaman has corrupted into a tangled money spinning Rasputin spawning minions across the planet unbridled...selling nightmares as dreams to an already confused generation unsure about its roots n values, who embrace every and any thing shown to them as a Godsend...

Rock isn't dead...Sometimes I wish it was...

I turned to look but it was gone,
I cannot put my finger on it now,
The child is grown, the dream is gone....

P.S: Damn...Reading the post I feel a 'generation gap' kinda feeling creeping up on me...must be getting old...now that's scary ;)

P.S.2 The darn loyolite was playing a shitty version of George Micheals I realised a few years later...The Guitar was also no great shakes...Now the girls...hmmmmmmmm